Girl who dances in a cage (cagekitten) wrote,
Girl who dances in a cage

a revelation

I was going to post something tonight. Something trivial or fun having to with the usual...clothes, sex, boys, etc. Then I read some of my friend's journals tonight and it shifted me.

I am so amazed at what my friends go through. Sometimes I just want to reach into their lives and pull them out. Often times I just want to win the lottery so I could buy them a ticket out of their challenges. But ultimately I know these challenges are their very purpose for being. We are not who we think we are or who we say we are. Who we really are can only be truly defined by the way we face our fears and challenges.


And a related thought that just came to me. I don't love freely or often at all. But for some reason I associate love very easily with pain. Wow, I just realized something huge. I think I can never really connect with people until they feel my pain or I feel theirs. It's not until I am in pain and they come to my aid that I learn to love some one. Or if they are in pain, and they permit me to support them, I find my heart opening enough to them to actually love them.

God, that is so amazingly clear to me right now. All I can say is beware. Come to me with your day to day problems and I will offer you my opinionated 2 cents every time. But come to me in your darkest hour, let me in, and you will likely find me there for all your darkest hours to come. Come to me in mine, and I will trust you like I trust no other. I will give you the one gift that I can only bestow from the most shattered and fragmented corners of my heart.

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