Acting used to be my first love. But honestly, acting is not something you can learn from books and videos. It has limits of where you can practice and how much you can advance. And a lot of how much you can grow and accomplish as an actor is limited by your own personal experiences (to draw from) and ability to stay present. Not so with dancing. With this form of dance you are not limited by your past experiences or by your level of athleticism or any previous conceived notions about yourself. It doesn't matter if you thought you had no coordination. It doesn't matter if, like me, you've lacked the ability to stay present in the moment or stay centered. Pole dancing centers you. Pole dancing pulls you from every thought of the past and future into a complete, meditative blissful state of mind. And your ability to advance is limited only by your level of desire and enthusiasm. I have never before felt so powerful, so limitless, so beautiful, so fit and so much like I can do no wrong. Even tricks done "wrong" are very often still beautiful to both execute and observe. Even a pole routine done poorly, as long as it is done to the best of your ability, still has the potential to bring pleasure and joy to those who watch.
And here's something that might surprise you. In the two years I've had the pole in my bedroom I have NEVER given anyone special in my life a private show. It doesn't matter if we're dating, if they want to see me pole dance, they can come to the venues and events in which I share my performance with others on stage. But they don't get private shows. Because pole dancing is NOT about being sexy for some one else. It has nothing to do with that. It's about feeling sexy and powerful from the inside. It's about blooming and finding parts of your psyche and skill and determination that you just never knew existed. The self confidence that pole dancing gives you has the wonderful side effect of making you sexier on spiritual and emotional level. And the body that pole dancing can give you can make you appear sexier on a physical level. But while it may have started that way back in the day when I learned my first few tricks at the Vogue, it stopped being for others the moment I stepped foot in that pole dancing school. It didn't take long for me to discover that feeling good is the sexiest feeling on earth. And who doesn't feel good about themselves when they shatter their preconceived limitations and grow wings and fly in ways they never knew possible? That is what pole dancing is about.
I hope this is a life long passion for me. I hope I advance to the limits of pole dancing and move on to even more daring acrobatic arts such as trapeze and rope and doing acrobatics 50 feet up in the air suspended from long flowing curtains like they do in Cirque Du Soleil. Because I will never get tired of feeling this good about myself and I will always be hungry to be better and better and better.