I've had this experience once before, it was for an acting performance. And when performing there are so many things to remember at once. And I was worried up to the last minute about remembering the moves in the right order, remembering to hold an expressive facial expression instead of a scared one, remembering to slow down, remembering what leg to lead with when going down into floor work, remembering to throw in a hip roll or two to spice up the dance at the last minute.
So this experience I'm referring to, that happened once before...happened again tonight. I didn't have to remember. It just happened. As if possessed, inspired, blessed...everything went just right. Everything came together as my body and spirit moved together to paint a picture of joy, sorrow, longing and grace on the canvas of the stage. When this magic happens, this is how you know your soul has found its calling.
My only regret is that I could not bring myself to look at the audience, even when it was over. The dance ends in a slide to the floor where I lay crouched as the music ends. And from my repose, chest heaving under the weight of my pounding heart, I heard the thunder of the their applause. I rose gently, catching my breath. I bowed. And I exited the stage as they continued clapping, as if to leave them wanting. But I never looked at them.
Fear perhaps? I had trained myself not to look, the same way you would not look down if you had to cross a tightrope at a death-defying height. It was only later, when I asked a friend if anyone stood, that I found out I did indeed move a few people to a standing ovation.
So please excuse me as much self horn tooting ensues. But as the show ended, I basked in all the wonderful things people shared with me. Of all the words people used to describe my dancing after the show, I've decided to share 5 of them...4 of which I have never even heard used before to describe my dance.
I don't think I ever expected to hear the word "intoxicating" used to describe my dancing. I am so truly blessed!
My choice of music also received many compliments. And a couple people told me how inspiring it was that I could dance as I did after the accident. To them, it was a reminder that there are no limitations, no matter what people tell us.
Pictures are being developed and will be ready tomorrow.