WHAT MY 10 YEAR OLD SELF WOULD SAY TO ME NOW:
"Why are there so many black shiny clothes in your closet? Is this PLASTIC!?"
"How come you're not married, especially when you have so many cute guy friends?"
"Where's your Academy Award? What do you mean you're not an actress?!"
"Why do you dance like you have ants in your pants?"
"You live with two BOYS!?"
"Why are you wearing that, it doesn't even cover your tummy."
"Ummmm....why is there a POLE in your bedroom? Oh my god are you a stripper that's so cool!!!"
"Is that as big as they get? That's it?"
"The Luke Skywalker in your bedroom is great but where's all my other Star Wars posters?"
"Thank you for moving back to Seattle."
WHAT I WOULD SAY TO MY 10 YEAR OLD SELF:
"It is NOT okay to let him yell at you and hit you. Look in the white pages under Child Protective Services and report his sorry ass...every day. Report your mother too, she's supposed to protect you and feed you and stuff."
"If you meet a tall blonde guy named Zack (in Pasadena) who loves dragons and fights with swords...treat him good and don't break up with him."
"Don't bother seeing the Star Wars prequels. They'll only ruin the originals for you."
"Don't turn down that receptionist job at the Star Trek Next Generation production office at Paramount. You'll kick yourself for the rest of your life."
"Move to Seattle 15 years earlier, invest in Microsoft."
"Pursue acting and never ever stop."
"March 9th's 2004 Washington State Mega-millions lottery results are:16-23-29-36-51 goldball:49."