August 12th, 2009

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How compatible are you with your current or last partner?

So this book I'm digging recently has a quote from another book. It says, "The most healthy marriages (or relationships) are those in which there is a strong foundation of similarities in background, temperament, goals, dreams, values, and the way in which individuals managed and ordered their physical and mental lives." The book went on to cite a recent Gallup poll indicating some 47 percent of marriages now end with "mutual incompatibility" as the reason for the dissolution of the relationship. So a lack of similarities between partners is one of the strongest factors contributing to divorce.

I'm curious if your personal experience supports this or not. Below is a poll. If you are monogamous, please answer this based either on your current partner or if you are single, on your last relationship. If you are poly, please answer based on your primary partner.

Let's put this to the test!

You and your partner have similarities in background

Yes
12(36.4%)
No
11(33.3%)
Somewhat
10(30.3%)

You and your partner have a similar temperament

Yes
7(21.2%)
No
16(48.5%)
Sometimes
10(30.3%)

You and your partner have similar goals and dreams

Yes
13(41.9%)
No
5(16.1%)
Somewhat
13(41.9%)

You and your partner have similar values

Yes
20(60.6%)
No
2(6.1%)
Some are similar but some are not
11(33.3%)

You and your partner manage and order your physical and mental lives in similar or compatible ways

Yes
14(43.8%)
No
15(46.9%)
Other, will post a comment describing
3(9.4%)

How long have you and your partner been together? Or if you answered the questions based on your last partner, how long were you together?

spirituality

Last Days of Left Eye

VH1 is rerunning The Last Days of Left Eye. Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes from the rap group "TLC" intended to document on video her 30 day retreat at a mysterious spiritual retreat in the Honduras jungle. She had no idea when she started that she had only 26 days to live.

It's fascinating to see one woman who has everything, beauty, fame, money, family, etc., fight her demons and work toward self discovery and wholeness. And she does it with her sister and brother and friends at her side as they share the retreat. But at the same time it is haunting. She says at one point that she feels there is a demon chasing her and it may kill her. And she was dead just days after that.

The documentary ends with footage taken inside the car as the accident happens. Mysteriously, everyone in the car survived but her. And she was wearing a seatbelt.

I never get tired of watching that documentary. She's stunningly beautiful, she's self-aware, she's kind and generous to others but she spent her life to trying to conquer her demons. You really want to see her win in the end, and you have to make your own conclusion about whether or not she did before she died.