October 19th, 2003

Kitten dancing in a cage2

Ow...ow...ow...

Good god I need a foot massage! Normally when I work as a dancer I always bring 2 pair of shoes. Half way through my shift I change shoes to help prevent any foot pain. But tonight the theme at Girl4Girl night was hip-hop/old school/rap. So for once I actually got to wear sneakers to work because that's part of the hip-hop look. Sadly, dancing in the same sneakers for 3 and 1/2 hours straight still hurt!!

Tonight I also found out what the manager meant when she once said "you're one of the lead dancers and the rest are all rotating." Apparently rotating means having a dancer for a month or two and then letting her go to bring in another one. This helps keep a variety of different looking girls working there. Sadly, this also meant letting poae go. I wasn't expecting that at all.

I got a compliment tonight that I've never heard before. A woman told me, "You're on top of it. You're fuckin' slammin'!"

Wow. Now I'm slammin. :) Slammin' with sore feet though. Off to bed I go!
  • Current Mood
    sore sore
socks and cat

I return home

I managed to drag my ass out of bed today to go to service at Center For Spiritual Living this morning. I haven't been there in over a month. Wow do I miss it! I am a more free, happier, more relaxed, less judgmental, easy going, motivated and joyful person since I started going there 4 years ago. My spiritual practice has literally transformed me! So it seems like a travesty to spend so much time apart from my spiritual home.

The guest musician this month was a man who's voice I have always been fond of. He could easily be an opera singer with his range. But instead he belts out ballads that honor our connection to the Universe and the potential it creates in our lives. You can't listen to him and not be touched. It was such a blessing to be back just in time to hear him.

The guest speaker this month was a woman who tours the world 250 days a year giving lectures and workshops on prosperity. She was offering a workshop in the afternoon which I didn't have time to do because of potential roommate interviews. But I've been to her workshops before and never get past a certain point with her lessons because she puts a very strong emphasis on forgiveness. And being an abuse survivor that's pretty strong issue with me. I tend to stear clear of it. I'm so grateful I'm reclaiming my life and have the ability to trust others. I don't want to have to think about forgiving the people that hurt me.

The lesson in her talk was perfect for me today. It was about making commitments. I was reminded that you don't have to know how to do something. Just make a commitment and the Universe will provide the how to. I have seen this demonstrated in my life before as well as the lives of others. When you are on the path, and committed to it, things fall into place. Something greater than yourself provides. And I realized that I don't have to know how to open a pole dancing school or even be strong or good enough to learn every pole trick while I'm in LA. All that matters is that I am committed to doing this. As of now I am not just going down there as an experiment to see if I can do it. I am committed to it.

I did treat myself though and purchase one of the items she offers. It's a box of what's called "Holy Relationship Affirmation Cards." They are 52 affirmations that draw a spiritual/love relationship into your life. And here is this week's affirmation:

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I am free of judgment and blame about the past.

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If anyone is interested I can post the quotes here weekly.
  • Current Mood
    good good