October 6th, 2003

socks and cat

Suicide by caffeine

I don't drink coffee, never have. But this morning I wanted some. Maybe it's because I haven't had to wake at 7:00am in over a week. Heck, I haven't been up before noon in over a week!!!

I put in half a package of hot chocolate just to make the taste tolerable. And then I smothered the top with whip cream, stirred it in, then smothered it in some more.

It still tastes icky. How can you people drink this crap? And by the way, what did I just make? Is it a mocha or something? Is there a name for this vile sugar infested concoction?
  • Current Music
    Run To You - Bryan Adams
Kitten & Duncan

Boots! Boots! Pretty shiney PVC boots!!!!

Yeah, I know I've made a lot of posts today. Last one today I promise! Well, maybe one more before bed tonight.

Anyway, found a couple great PVC boot tops online today. Both under $20. I need help choosing one. Note that these are boot tops only, not actual boots. You tuck them into your favorite pair of PVC shoes or ankle high boots and it creates the illusion of wearing thigh high boots. A great option for girl like me on a budget. Also great for dancers as they can change shoes half way through their shift (dancing in the same shoes for 3 hours straight can hurt) but still look like they are wearing the same boots.

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Poll #188532 Choose my boots

Which boot tops should I buy?

#1 with the lace-up front
#2 solid tighter fitting boots
  • Current Music
    Lap Dance - N.E.R.D.
socks and cat

a revelation

I was going to post something tonight. Something trivial or fun having to with the usual...clothes, sex, boys, etc. Then I read some of my friend's journals tonight and it shifted me.

I am so amazed at what my friends go through. Sometimes I just want to reach into their lives and pull them out. Often times I just want to win the lottery so I could buy them a ticket out of their challenges. But ultimately I know these challenges are their very purpose for being. We are not who we think we are or who we say we are. Who we really are can only be truly defined by the way we face our fears and challenges.


And a related thought that just came to me. I don't love freely or often at all. But for some reason I associate love very easily with pain. Wow, I just realized something huge. I think I can never really connect with people until they feel my pain or I feel theirs. It's not until I am in pain and they come to my aid that I learn to love some one. Or if they are in pain, and they permit me to support them, I find my heart opening enough to them to actually love them.

God, that is so amazingly clear to me right now. All I can say is beware. Come to me with your day to day problems and I will offer you my opinionated 2 cents every time. But come to me in your darkest hour, let me in, and you will likely find me there for all your darkest hours to come. Come to me in mine, and I will trust you like I trust no other. I will give you the one gift that I can only bestow from the most shattered and fragmented corners of my heart.