September 6th, 2003

socks and cat

Digging through memories

As if I wasn't already happy and giddy enough...

I've been unpacking. That's my goal for the day, get as much unpacked as I can before I work the Catwalk tonight. Then I found a large box where I keep old memories. Mostly high school, but more than that too. I found a folder full of birthday cards from over 10 years ago. I started to read them. Ah. *sigh* Wow. I feel so loved.

I had a boyfriend who's card reminded me how much being together had healed him. He wrote that I healed things in him that would have poisoned him otherwise. That was a habit of mine in the past. Finding souls that needed something. I never fell in love in those relationships, but I fed their souls and healed them. Guess what world. It's my turn now. I get to love now. I get to be fed.

My performance tonight should be interesting. What gives me the BEST dance performances are deep strong emotions like grief and despair and pain. So what the heck am I going to look like up there on stage with all this joy and spitfire happiness?

And for the record "Futile" by Velvet Acid Christ is rocking my world right now. Lance gave me a his huge collection of industrial music and it's making unpacking a pleasure. It's also making me want to dance...a lot.
  • Current Music
    Futile - Velvet Acid Christ