September 5th, 2003

socks and cat

Conjure One & Delerium Concert

One word: WOW

Oh but first a huge HUGE thank you to transcendence1 for taking me to this concert. I never would have gone on my own. I just don't do concerts (I did two back in the 80's, that's it). I totally would have missed this if it wasn't for you!

Transcendence and I recognized a few people when we arrived and we all started chatting in a circle. It was really surprised to see templar46_2 there. Pretty soon our little group was joined by more people that recognized us. sweetestkiss was there too. Then darkmane showed up with m_cobweb and vulture23. And pretty soon I started to refer to our little mob as the "goth circle." Every once in a while I would wonder about and spot some one we knew on their own. I would point them in the direction of our mob and say, "the goth circle is over there." It amused me to say this.

When the opening act went up, I didn't even realize they had started. I was picking up my second beer from the bar and wondering into the dance floor/pit area when I realized a beautiful woman was on stage singing. Then the sound of her voice and the melody hit me. Whoa. I'll never be same again, seriously.

This woman, this creature, created a spell-binding experience. Not only did she sing like an angel, but her energy was euphoric. Her name is Chemda and I found out her group Conjure One is actually made of former members of Delerium. Chemda clearly was in love with what she was doing up there on stage. Every cell of her body seemed to vibrate with an energy and euphoria that can only be experienced when you are in love with the masses swaying beneath you to the sound of your spirit. Ahhhh-mazing!

One of my thoughts, as I watched her moving in ecstatic wonder up there on stage, was that I had to remember to be like her when I perform. I have to remember to love what I'm doing and let my body and soul vibrate with such joy that every member of the audience is infected by it! Then the most wonderful thing happened, darkmane told me her performance style reminded him of mine. Happy, joyous sigh. I aspired to be like her, and according to at least one person, I already am. Joy!

The music of Conjure One continued to mesmerize me, working me up into a frenzy I hardly have words for. I think I lost my mind, or at least my normal sense of who I am. My whole being just vibrated at a primitive, instinctual, sensual level that I can only describe as a mild hysteria. And did I mention...WOW. Of course it was probably a combination of things. The alcohol (although I had consumed only one beer at this point) the lights, the way the sound system projected the the music. It was a combination of things that probably can't be recreated by just playing the CD.

Funny thing is, during this whole time, I couldn't find any of my friends to share this with. Although, truth be told, it wasn't an experience I could really share among friends. You would have to be...let's just say...closer.

Conjure One

It ended, and in my afterglow I did manage to find izzbot as well as a few other friends. seattlesque found me, but I didn't recognaize him. It was way dark in there, and he was all normal and conservative looking. Plus the last time I saw him, he was dressed as my ho. After a while, I decided to look for Templar, figuring he would be somewhere near the front of the state. Sure enough, there he was all squished up with the other fans, waiting for Delerium to go on.

When they finally started, some guy in front of me was dancing around in a flailing manner as if he wasn't squished back to back with 200 other people. Templar, who was behind me, reached over me and kept his hand on the guy's back to keep him from at least falling back into us. It surprised me actually, making me feel all safe and protected. But unfortunately this man's flailing elbows couldn't be contained. So I basically spent the first song with my arms crossed tightly against my chest. Because, for you guys who don't know this yet, an elbow to the breast (especially at insane dancing speed) is very painful.

At some point, arm flailing guy decided to move back a bit. His friend in front of me tried to pull him back in front, at which point I said in her ear (over the music), "No! He's hurting me up here!" She left him back there. Which sadly, left Templar to deal with this nut job. Templar was very diplomatic about it, trying to give him the hint that there was PLENTY of room in the back to dance like that. After repeated warnings, Templar finally told the guy off. Which I must say, impressed the hell out of me. Make no mistake about it; Templar has a backbone. I just didn't know it before then. Go Templar!

Anyway, Delerium's music was beautiful. There were gorgeous, slow, sensual images projected on stage behind them. The basist was hot, I think Transcendence is in love with her. But there was something wrong. The two lead singers, a very attractive blond and brunette, just weren't present. I mean their bodies were present and their voices were most certainly full throttle. But after that amazing spell binding performance by Conjure One's Chemda, the other two girls looked like they were sleep walking up there.

Most noticable was the blonde girl, who did most of the vocals. I mean I was only a foot away from her up front, and I couldn't see any excitement in her at all. She looked like was doing a job. You know the expression; if I just do this and this I'll get paid and then I can go home. That's how she looked up there.

This really sends the message home to me. It doesn't matter how talented you are. If you don't look like you're enjoying yourself, if you don't FEED your audience, you will lose their interest. I'm so grateful I was an actress years before I was ever a dancer. Because when I work as a dancer, there are those times when I feel exactly as that blond singer from Delierum felt. You know, I want to do this performance and go home. But as an actress, I know how to remember and bring back the excitement of the performance. I can manifest it back into my body. I can act. These singers, especially the blonde, could not. Granted she hopped around on stage a bit to the beat. But her spirit and her soul were not lighting up for all to see the way Chemda's did.

I only spent about half the performance up at the front by the stage. Eventually I wondered around and there was always plenty of room to dance in the back. Eventually I got tired and had to sit down. I ended up sitting in some cute guy's lap when there was no where else to sit. I didn't know him, but he obviously knew my friends, so I figured it was safe. Then I got up and danced some more.

After it was over, I was on my way out when I spotted Templar and Izzy chatting. They were standing very close together, so I ran to them and jumped up in between them for a double sided hug. Yeah, for the record, Izzy and Templar sandwiches rock. Eventually I stumbled, exhuasted, out to the parking lot with Transcendence. It was an amazing evening. And being there with so many people I know, surrounded by friends, just made it even more so. For me, the girl who trudged through high school without many friends and certainly no cool concerts like this, that night was an adolescent dream come true!
  • Current Music
    Tears From The Moon - Conjure One
Kitten dancing in a cage2

Nirvana

I found a review of Conjure One. Check it out:

Cool info about Conjure One

I think the reason I reacted to music the way I did is because I'm part musician. I can't read music, nor play it, and I have a singing voice so horrific that it would frighten small children and animals. But my biological father is a musician and songwriter. He played for Little Richard back in the day. He writes music for commercials and currently tours the country teaching song writing seminars.

So it's in my blood. I can't play it. But sometimes a certain style of music can overcome me. I listen to it, feel it, vibrate with it until I am completely lost and mindless. It's really beautiful. Becoming a dancer is the best thing that ever happened to me. Otherwise I would never have found away to bond with music.

As a person with Attention Deficit Disorder, I don't usually get to enjoy things like other people do. I'm distracted, I'm all over the place, I'm too in my head. But I discovered drinking 3 years ago (I was a tea totaler until then) and it has made a difference. The buzz I gain from one or two beers can help me focus. And the combination of alcohol and trance music (Delerium, Enigma, Conjure One, etc.) can work together to work me into a state of dance euphoria. I've reached Nirvana that way...that space of being where you are no longer a body or mind but a pure state of thoughtless, joyful vibration.
socks and cat

(no subject)

One of the coolest things about being a girl: CLOTHES!

To the Conjure One/Delerium concert I wore a black mini dress with striped tights (raggedy ann style) and my WWII style combat boots. Those boots were comfy and great for dancing!

striped tights

And I adore my Levi's super low-rise stretch jeans. Wore them with casual comfy shirt to the SeaGoth picnic last Saturday. Then dressed them up with a rhinestone belt and a cute cropped black top for a party the same night. Versatile and sexy, I love these jeans!

And Saturday night (tonight!) I'll be wearing that barely there dress, the one you see in the icon for this entry, dancing at UTOPIA. I'm a little nervous about it though. When I wore this dress the first time, it was in a dark club. Now I'll be dancing on stage, under a spotlight, in nothing but a bra a thong and a net. Yikes!
  • Current Music
    Redemption