How would you handle this?
Some one I hung out with once or twice a long time ago has been texting me a lot asking to hang out. I have found excuses to blow him off because he has made no secret of the fact that he drives drunk. He is in the medical profession so it's his job to save and preserve lives. Yet he's out on the roads putting lives in danger.
Blowing him off with excuses has not been effective and he just texted me last night asking when we are going to finally hang out. I have decided to call him and tell him that I am choosing not to be friends because he drives drunk. It's not that I expect to be in a car with him, it's that people who put other people's lives in danger like this are addicts and too weak to do what's right in life and so have no way of being a good friend or support system when I am looking to be stronger and better in life. But a very good friend of mine said to make up a reason rather than tell him the truth so there won't be any hard feelings. She says if you tell him the truth he may get angry or defensive and there will be awkwardness if you end up at the same club together some night.
I would rather he know the truth, that there are consequences for your actions and if you choose to drive drunk some people will not want to be your friend. But she does have a good point. Me telling him the truth will not change his drinking and driving and will most likely result in hard feelings.
Blowing him off with excuses has not been effective and he just texted me last night asking when we are going to finally hang out. I have decided to call him and tell him that I am choosing not to be friends because he drives drunk. It's not that I expect to be in a car with him, it's that people who put other people's lives in danger like this are addicts and too weak to do what's right in life and so have no way of being a good friend or support system when I am looking to be stronger and better in life. But a very good friend of mine said to make up a reason rather than tell him the truth so there won't be any hard feelings. She says if you tell him the truth he may get angry or defensive and there will be awkwardness if you end up at the same club together some night.
I would rather he know the truth, that there are consequences for your actions and if you choose to drive drunk some people will not want to be your friend. But she does have a good point. Me telling him the truth will not change his drinking and driving and will most likely result in hard feelings.
Should I tell him the truth?
Yes
26(89.7%)
No
0(0.0%)
Other, see my posted comment
3(10.3%)
Sure, it might make him feel a little uncomfortable but you have your rights too....and especially as he probably should feel at least a little guilty for choosing to drive drunk. I know people make mistakes (which sometimes have horrible concequences,and sometimes have no concequences thank goodness), but if he keeps choosing to do it, I don't consider that a mistake.
And if he gets pissed and tells you to fuck off, then you're definitely better off not being around him. And I would pass his name on to local law enforcement so they can keep an eye on him.
Be honest in saying it bothers you to see him put himself and others at risk, and that you feel by hanging out it makes you uncomfortable -- so you'd rather not.
Otherwise, why drag things out? The truth is not always pleasant, and I'm not saying get on a pedestal and judge -- but why drag things out?
What do you really want?
Is your intent that he get help? Or do you just not want him to keep asking you out? If the latter, just tell him you aren't interested.