Girl who dances in a cage (cagekitten) wrote,
Girl who dances in a cage

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It may be time to give up soon

The boy keeps questioning my philosophy and spirituality. His pagan beliefs are so close to my own that they could be sister religions. But he doesn't see that no matter how hard I try to explain it. I am too emotionally attached to my spiritual life to argue philosophy with him without feeling like I'm on the defensive. And no one can be reasonable on the defensive.

Add to this that we still aren't in agreement as to our the definition of our time together and you've got one unhappy girl here. At one point he got tired of debating it with me and gave in. So at last we're just "dating" and not in a relationship (as he hoped for) and I have the space I need. But he misunderstands my definition of dating. No matter how many times I tell him this is dating with serious intent he insists that this has become "casual". That is clearly hard for him and he is withdrawing emotionally on some levels to compensate for it.

It's all very sad because we like one another so much and want very much to be together. But we can't agree on the terms in which we conduct this "relationship" and his questioning of my spiritual beliefs is coming at a bad time (when I am facing a lot serious life challenges and need my faith the most). I would be very surprised if this lasted through February. I want it to work. Or at least I remember what it felt like when I did.

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