Today after having lunch with a girlfriend we hit some stores in Capitol Hill to find her some club clothes. She asked if we could stop at Cupcake Royale and I told her that I don't eat sugar but I would go with her to get a chai there (the chai is sweetened only with honey and maple syrup and no sugar). She got a cupcake topped with "salted caramel". Oh my god, I love caramel. So I asked for just one small bite of her cupcake. BIG mistake!!!
The bite of chocolate cupcake with salted caramel frosting was absolutely orgasmic. I fell back in my chair while chewing it and I think my eyes rolled back up into my head. I only had that one bite. But it was all down hill from there.
For the rest of the day I kept seeing treats everywhere. Even the event I taught a lap dance workshop at tonight had free cake and free chocolate. I went out of my mind trying to resist them. That one bite of cupcake royale shot my sugar cravings through the roof. In desperation I stopped at the Greenwood market to get a sugar free pie (sweetened with fruit juice and pear syrup). I try to avoid these sugar free pies and such now because in the past they have been a gateway drug to the real thing (with sugar). But truly, I was insane with cravings and desperate. But the sugar free pie did not quell the cravings like it used to. I tried my stevia sweetened chai tea at home, that always does the trick and stops the cravings. But it did not this time either.
I guess when you're an addict, you can't sample what you're addicted to and expect to go on about your day or your life with no consequences. I have no idea how long I'll be made miserable by these cravings. I only know that the one bite of cupcake was not worth the torture the cravings are putting me through now.