I love being a girl. I love being girly. I think that women are blank canvases and that painting that canvas and dressing that canvas in a feminine way gives us pleasure and gives pleasure to those around us (I know it gives me pleasure to see a girl all prettied up and dressed up). I am addicted to shopping and have lots of pretty, girly, gothy clothes. Heck, I even teach women feminine movement for a living. I'm all about the girly girl stuff and the divine feminine.
So it's just been really hard for me to be introduced to and hanging out in a subculture where the girls don't seem to demonstrate a desire to be girly. I've gone clubbing with them, and found them dressed casually. It made me feel overdressed in all my goth and belly dance or PVC and sparkly finery. Most of them didn't wear make up, half of them didn't do anything with their hair, etc. I'm not putting them down or anything. God knows there are more important things in this world that focusing on your appearance. I'm just saying these women and their subculture are so far removed from what I'm accustomed to and what I enjoy, that I felt out of place expressing myself in a feminine way when I was with them. It made me stand out, and not in a good way. I'm happy to return the gothy, poly, fetish, whatever subculture social events where women share the belief that I do; it brings pleasure to all of us when they turn their bodies into living art. And every party and club night can be enhanced by some of that mutual pleasure. I respect the gamer girls and their cultural differences. But it definitely made me feel like I didn't belong. So while I will continue to attend events or parties with a mixed crowd of subcultures, I won't be attending any more exclusively gamer events. They are nice folks, but I can't find enough common ground with them to feel comfortable.