?

Log in

No account? Create an account
machine gun kitty

sad

So since I haven't been able to read LJ in a week or so, I missed seeing this for myself. But apparently some one made a post on LJ about one of my friends. That opened a forum where other people could then post comments about her, basically bashing her or picking apart what they think is wrong with her. I don't think I have to tell anyone that this was a basic goth scene group type. I don't see this kind of group attack much outside the scene.

I can only make one strong statement about this that I know to be absolutely true. When some one bashes some one else, when some one makes fun of some one else in a public or group forum, when some one gossips about others, it is a sure and absolute sign that something in them is hurt. Happy people don't feel the need to bash others...period. Being unkind to others, while inexcusable, is a cry for help.

Every time I see this behavior in the goth scene, I wonder about the people doing it. I wonder what hurt them. Were they abused as a child? Did they go through a recent break up that caused them pain? Did they have a traumatic event in their lives that scarred them emotionally? Or do they just have a job or career or romantic partner that makes them unhappy on some level? The next time you hear some one gossip about some one else or form an unkind opinion about some one in a group setting or online, ask them, who or what hurt you? And what can we do to make it not hurt so that you won't feel the need to inflict the same pain on others?

Comments

Amen!!!!

You I didn't see it either she told me though
last night
the person deleted what she wrote and attack of comments
not really goth scene more burlesque scene

Re: Amen!!!!

The fact that it's burlesque is just as sad. As a group women that dance provocatively or remove any clothing on stage, we are judged harshly and unfairly by society. Why add to that by harshly judging each other?
That is sad-we get that sort of thing here too only it is just verbal rumors. I have heard several instances in Seattle that involved forums which is really taking something to an even worse level.
I also agree with you that such behavior is very sad and if not a sign of being hurt or wounded, it points toward an extreme level of immaturity. Most teasing happens when we're children because those doing the teasing are still awkward with themselves and tend to look down on people who are "different" in their eyes. Yes, the insecurity and ugliness falls on the teaser in all cases.

On a side note, this sort of thing is not limited to Goth's, nor is it something all goths do. I was once a happy goth, and while no one would guess it from looking at me these days, I still love listening to the music and checking out what is going on in the scene. My friends and I never teased anyone. In fact, we were the ones who were picked on in school and came together to support each other on the road to being happy. And we were/are.
I've made those same observations in goth cliques and therefore avoid them like the plague after what they did to me. =(