Girl who dances in a cage (cagekitten) wrote,
Girl who dances in a cage

No tours for this girl

After trying for weeks to decide what excursions to take on the tour, I wimped out. I booked only a tour of a castle in Canada and a cheap tour of Ketchikan. I came very close to purchasing the dog sled tour only to back out at the last minute.

My thinking is that it doesn't make sense to commit to a tour that costs several hundred dollars when I have no idea what kind of shape I will be in physically, emotionally and spiritually. I mean I am taking this cruise to take seminars with my favorite spiritual philosopher. What if I end up all introspective and just want to spend time on the ship to take it all in? And anyone remember that detox period I described that I have to go through when I try to go from 12 hour work days to absolutely no working at all for a week? What if my detox lasts for days and I just can't get out of bed at the first port where the dog sledding is?

And finally, how am I going to feel? On the way to the pride parade this weekend I drove right by the cruise line ports and much to my surprise found myself looking right at a huge cruise ship within walking distance of my car. Quite unexpectedly I suddenly burst into tears. I've been so busy stressing over purchasing a home and moving my business that I never let it sink in that I'm about to fulfill a dream I have had my ENTIRE adult life...cruising to Alaska. Once I saw that ship and realized how real this really is, I just lost it. This might just be a very emotional week for me. And I don't want to make any commitments with my money or time.

If it was meant for me to be on one of those dog sledding glacier tours, then a spot will open up for me last minute. And believe me, if I'm feeling up to going, I will check to see if there were any openings due to last minute cancellations.

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