HER: You never replied to my last e-mail. I wanted to get you a mortgage loan, remember?
ME: Oh, sorry. I didn't get that last e-mail. My bank already approved me. Thanks anyway.
HER: Wait, I can get you a better rate.
ME: No thank you, I only have two weeks left to find a place to buy anyway. After that the deadline is too tight with my move out date so I'll probably end up leasing instead of buying.
HER: No really, let me get you a better rate.
ME: Look, I'm just going to give it to you straight. I went through a bunch of brokers. Not one of you folks would even process my application because I hate debt, I refuse to have debt, and no debt means no revolving line of credit. Get that, I have an excellent credit rating but no actual revolving credit. I have no idea why my bank approved me. It's a miracle they did and you CANNOT get my loan approved no matter how hard you try because I have no revolving credit.
HER: Yes I can. Send me your credit report.
ME: Here's my credit report.
HER: Oh hell no I can't get you approved, you have no revolving credit.
ME: You don't say.
HER: You would be lucky if you got a $200,000 loan approved...maybe...like REALLY lucky.
ME: Moron. I got a $500,000 loan approved by my bank. I told you that already, right around the time I told you I have no revolving credit.
Okay, I didn't really call her a moron. I'm just wondering how the hell my bank approved me when no broker will even process my application. And why does this broker think I have only one open line of credit and my bank thinks I have three lines of credit and I only know of two lines of credit. I suspect that the brokers are working off the one credit report I printed and sent them and my bank may have actually run my credit report through all 3 credit agencies. I know SOME ONE ran my credit report through all three agencies. Because I got notice in the mail notifying me that all 3 were run, and that I'm being rejected due to...you guessed it...lack of revolving credit. But the notice had no name on it or any indication who sent it or who checked my credit and then rejected my application. Yet I was still approved. This has been a truly wacky experience.
Did I mention I have no revolving credit?