Girl who dances in a cage (cagekitten) wrote,
Girl who dances in a cage

I am pushing myself insanely hard this week. In order to get things done in time for my vacation, I have been working almost non-stop from the moment I wake up in the morning until about midnight every night. In spite of this, the list seems to grow longer instead of shorter. I just have to keep going.

At first I hated the fact that before I even open my eyes in the morning, I'm already going over a million things in my head that have to be done. I would finally jump out of bed and go straight for the computer and start working like a mad woman in my pajamas, without a shower yet or my breakfast. But then I remembered the alternative. I remembered the old days when I had a day job instead of a business of my own. I would wake up every morning and realized I was stuck in some kind of repeat that I couldn't see an end to. Maybe you know the one: Get up even though you want more sleep, shower, eat, stand out in the cold to catch the bus (or sit in traffic in your car), show up at the same old job, sit at the desk, do the same old boring and unfulfilling work that doesn't make you feel like you're contributing to the world in any special way, wonder if your boss is in a bad mood and how it will effect you, break for lunch, go back to the boring day of stuff you would rather not be doing, count the hours and minutes until quitting time, take the bus home (or sit in traffic in your car) make dinner, collapse, maybe have just a few hours of free time before you have to go to bed far earlier than you want to so you can start the dead end process all over again in the morning, etc.

Yeah, I much prefer the alternative. I'm now grateful for those moments when I first wake up and before I even open my eyes I'm remembering the tons of things I need to get done to keep my business going. I'm grateful for the non-stop work days this week and the to-list that doesn't seem to end. I'm grateful for the mass of e-mails that need replying to and accounting that needs to be done and the phone calls that need to be made. I'm grateful for the mess in my room because I'm working and teaching and don't have time to clean it. I'm grateful for the sore muscles, because they came from doing something fulfilling and fun. I'm grateful that this month I'm working harder than I probably have ever worked in my entire life. And I'm really looking forward to getting the list done!!

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