Girl who dances in a cage (cagekitten) wrote,
Girl who dances in a cage

no dance left in me

At a party last night I ran into one of my former students. She's taken the foundation skills I taught her and really built on them. She has a pole at home and practices every day. I love it.

The party was at a home that had a pole and the host must have told folks there was a pole teacher there. Because he told me that people were looking forward to seeing me dance, even though I didn't tell a single person there that I was a dancer and instructor.

I felt so bad letting him down. But after teaching for two hours at the pole party earlier in the day, my brain was completely fried and my body was pretty tired too. I just didn't have it in me to connect mind, body and spirit into something beautiful and graceful around the pole. Anything I did would have just been a few pole tricks pulled together to some music...and that's not a dance (at least not in the sense of creative expression). I guess I'd rather let people down than give them anything less than something from my heart and spirit. But I still feel bad about letting them down. I had to leave the party early too, I was pretty tired. I ended up going to bed about an hour and a half earlier than I usually do.

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