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boxing kitten

Young men vs. older gentlemen at strip clubs

I had an exotic dancer in today for a private lesson and I learned today the difference between older men customers and young men customers. For starters, the young men are mean. When they turn you down for a lap dance, they don't always say, "no thank you." They very often say things like, "Not from you. I'm waiting for some one better." I guess young men today spend so much time being turned down by beautiful women that they want to turn the tables and be mean to them. And the strip club is the one place where you can turn down beautiful women often and insult them in the process and there are no negative repercussions.

Young men also want lap dances that are raunchy and porn like. Whereas older men are looking more for intimacy. The dancer told me the older men like it when you touch their face and hair in an intimate way. And you can spend more time being intimate with them and less time pretending you're in a porn movie like the younger men want. This dancer that shared this with me is new to the business. So she says until she can develop dirtier and less intimate dance moves and until she can grow a thicker skin so she can let it roll off her when men in the club are mean to her, she is going to stick with the daytime and lunch shift where the older men attend.

Comments

I guess young men today spend so much time being turned down by beautiful women that they want to turn the tables and be mean to them.

I think they're just childish little misogynists who probably treat all women that way. Not all young men, mind you.
I agree... and the strip clubs seem to attract a high quantity of misogynistic boys and men. I hate strip clubs so much.
Sadly most women who dance, only date men they meet in the clubs, and base there opinions of ALL men on the men they meet in the clubs. It is a sad but true fact, that the worst of the worst...the scum of the earth, are the ones that frequent strip clubs. So unless you are a strong, and wise woman who does not date "customers" you will think that ALL men are the scum that frequent strip clubs.

I can't imagine dating a man who frequents strip clubs. I love that G has never been to one and has no interest in them.

One of the saddest things about the strippers I sold costumes to -- a lot of them were working to support men who abused them and didn't have jobs. Those men used the women for their money and often cheated on them with other strippers. And those girls were prostituting themselves out to support those deadbeats... I didn't realize that so many girls dated customers... it is all coming together... Ugh.
A lot of dancers are working to either make a quick buck, or meet a sugar daddy ultimately. At least half of all dancers are single mothers, and if they can eventually meet a man with money to take care of them, they will allow it, even if it happens to be a customer. But really, they don't know where else to find "sugar daddies" and at least when they are customers the girl can smell his money in the club. lol
I have dated a couple of strippers, and I did not meet them in the "club". One of which I am still great friends with.
You must have really lucked out. Were they at all a bit off there rocker, or superficial, or gold digging? or needy? or daddy issues? lol. or single mothers...most of the single mothers are actually really the good/sweet ones that are truly just trying to provide for their family. But having been in this biz for so many years, I have met/seen it all. I have to say in the years I have gone to different clubs, I have only ever really made friends with the more normal/stable ones, and I have to say that is about only 5% off any strippers I have ever met overall. lol
well, the one I am not good friends with, sort of went crazy. Nosedive into coke.

The other one that I am still good friends with, It was just a job. Not many skills, so that is what she ended up doing. She is a hairdresser now.

But since I do not go to clubs unless my girlfriend take me there, I really cannot speak a whole lot to various sorts of dancers. I really just sit back and watch my girlfriends flirt with the dancers.
lol. Those are also very common stories actually. Personally I am one of the few that has danced, that has NOT dated men that I met as customers, or men who frequent strip clubs. The funny thing is the girls I get along best with, are like me, and there husbands or boyfriends were never customers, or even fans of strip clubs.

I have met the occasional couple that come in and the girl is more interested and having more fun than her BF. lol.
LOl. For the most part, she is correct. But as I have found, the older men, about 40's-60's tend to be worse than the young 20-30's because they know what they want, and are not afraid to ask for it. They will tell you stories about the raunchy things they have done with other dancers, and will openly admit they are interested in sexual favors for money. However, unlike younger men, they are wanting to pay for it, keep it a secret from there spouses, and not bother the girl for dates and commitment...they really just want that one time satisfaction.

The young men will be asshats, and insult a girl, thinking either yes, they can finally turn a hot chick down as a revenge, or they want to hook up. So they will not spend a penny, bother you for a "date" and brag about what studs they are.

I have to say that at least the over 40 crowd, is willing to pay, whether it be for dances, conversation, or offer to pay for other services...they know it all comes at a price. The young men think because they are young, and studs that they should not have to pay for anything.

I hope she learns to build up a thick shell. All those insults are not personal, but more a reflection of that particular "man".

It took me a while to not let it hurt me to be told I was either "too fat" or "to thin" or "to brunette" or whatever. It's an emotional roller coaster and I don't think anyone who has not been a dancer, understand just how not only physically demanding it is, but emotionally demanding, and can leave deep scars if you are not a strong person.
I have a hard time believing that it doesn't scar even the strongest of women... all in all I think it is an unhealthy industry... but I do see why women do it and have been tempted to make the quick buck myself... I think if I were to get into that business I would leave deep permanent scars on the faces of some of those men... so... I don't think I will ever go there. :)
Oh yeah... and I remember frequently being told that the majority of customers are married and cheating. Yuck. I suppose there is one advantage to working the clubs... you'd find out if your husband was going to them... at least if they were going to a local club.
Yeah, that is sooo common! I think of all the women I work with, maybe only one or two of them are with men they did not meet in the clubs, and is not stealing from them. It is even more sad that I think I am the only woman with a BF that I am not supporting in some way. lol.

I think also of all the men I have met that go to strip clubs, it is less than 5% of them that are not married, cheating on there S.O., or trying to hook up.

How would you leave scars on the men? lol.

and yeah, I definitely have become a bit more cynical about men, and a lot more fearful of making friendships with women...but I don't think other than making me more open minded, that I am nearly as scared as the majority of dancers I have met over the years.

it is nice also having the advantage that most of those other girls do not have. My man has only been in once to the club, and it was not when I was working. He also really has no interest in those sorts of places, and actually detests them. lol.
I am very glad that it is not damaging your self-esteem too much. Hell, working as a secretary at a pharmaceutical company made me feel pretty uncomfortable. I sometimes felt like I was a SEX-retary! The way the male sales reps treated me was very misogynistic.
this is pretty funny. I suppose it is true, but the only times I have been in a strip club since around 1981 was with either my girlfriend that worked there, or my girlfriend that wanted to go to a strip club. I have never hit on or otherwise tried to pick up a girl from a strip club, but girlfriends I have been with have.

I think it is all very humorous but then I have a differnt point of view about strip clubs having dated strippers in the past.
Wow! You must have been in totally different types of strip clubs than I have been to. I used to sell costumes to the girls. Their lives and what they went through on a daily basis was far from humorous... it was horrifying.
I am not clear I think. I have a pretty dark sense of humor.
thinks like hearing stories from guys about girls they met in the clubs and how "hot some girl was" when they were talking about my girlfriend and did not know it. Stories about some of the stupid shit guys do.
The clubs they worked in were not here in washington. I find the clubs here creepy, but then again I have only been in a club here in washington twice, ever.
So yes, perhaps a lot different environments.
Old guys rock! And I know. I'm a old guy.
P.S. I'm not married or in a relationship. If I was I would not go to strip clubs.

3 types of customers from zbone.com

http://zbone.com/zone/p-note96.htm
Dancers: For your amusement, I've categorized and pigeonholed customers for you. But, before reading on, keep in mind, a customer could change categories as you are talking to him. He could also be part #1 and part #2 etc. Don't expect to be the next Anna Nicole Smith just by reading this.

Customer Type #1: Entertainment Only

This customer is bored, and want some adult entertainment. This type of customer will usually come with friends and drink. He's there (and not at home watching TV etc) because of the sexual aspect of the club. This does not mean he wants sex from you. The same way he looks at the pictures in Playboy but does not expect to do anything with the centerfold. It is purely entertainment. For this type of customer, you just need to be a good dancer and smile. The club has to do the rest.

Customer Type #2: Hard-Core

This customer is not just bored like #1, he wants some sexual activity. This can be mild (nude table dances) to extreme (sex in or outside the club). Usually, will come to the club alone. If you want to, you could get a lot of money out of this customer type. Things to look out for: Don't confuse money with love. What does this mean?

Just because type #2 tips you big, this does not mean he likes you specifically. He wants some level of sex. He might like you too, but that's incidental to him. This means that after he gets what he wants (whatever it is), he could turn it off like a switch.

Best thing for you to do here is get as much money from him while you can because it won't last forever.
Customer Type #3: Groupie

This customer wants to hang around dancers or females for some reason. Either he specifically likes dancers or it's just a good easy way to interact with females. This type of customer wants to spend a lot of time with you.

If he has no money, this will mean cheap dates or just being around the club a lot. Rocker dudes fall into this category to find a girl friend that will support him. Others end up working as bouncers or DJs. They could get better jobs but they like dancers. The best here for you is, if you love him, be his girlfriend but don't give him all your money. Put some away for yourself because he won't last. Otherwise, just have sex with him, if it's good.

If he has a lot of money, this means lot's of dinners, shopping, traveling, etc. He could pay your rent and buy you a car. You could be the next Anna Nicole Smith. This type wants a lot of time with you, not just sex.

The best for you here is to marry the richest one you can find and don't sign any pre-nups. :) Having said all this, my rule of thumb is, never do anything you're going to lose sleep over.