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over the shoulder Kitten

How do I handle this friend request?

So being new to facebook, I would like to know how others handle this situation. I got a friend request from a man I don't know. Makes me nervous since I only planned to add people I know. Before I declined him I sent him a message and asked why he tried to friend me. He pointed out the high number of mutual friends we had.

So I'm thinking, I don't want to add him. I don't post any secrets on fb but I don't know him and I'm not a fan of strange men trying to get to know me online. On the other hand, if I don't accept friends of mutual friends, how the heck am I supposed to get to know new people and make new friends? I figured it's just one guy, so I'll add him.

Today I got yet another friend request from a strange man I don't know. We have 10 mutual friends. I don't want to add him because for all I know he just saw a pretty picture and wants to collect as many cute goth girls as possible. But on the other hand, how am I supposed to make new friends if I don't accept friend requests from friends of friends?

Would it be rude to message him and tell him I would be happy to add him once we have met in person? Not an offer to meet of course, but an invitation to introduce himself if he ever sees me at an event or club?

Comments

That's why you rejected my 127 FB friend requests? *sobs*


I kid, I kid.
I get requests from people I don't know on facebook and I always use the ignore feature. Trust me keep facebook to your friends only or else it's a true pain. I am already thinking of just deleting my current facebook and having my publicist set one up just as a fan page.

facebook suggest friends

Some people just blindly click on any friend suggested by facebook for any reason.

Whether you accept or not is up to you. I'm playing video games on facebook so I accept them and put them in a list that has very limited access to my profile.
I have always been of the opinion that, if I don't know someone, if they don't have the respect to send me a message and say who they are then they don't get an add.

I do the same here, FB, and on a few other sites.
I am very discriminate about that sort of thing. I have added a few people back that looked familiar, but most everyone I am actual friends or acquaintances with. Heck, some acquaintances I don't add back 'cuz I don't have much in common with them. If you are using it strictly for social purposes, only add the people you want to be social with.
I add everyone, unless they are obvious SPAM accounts.

People need to loosen up!

I currently have 193 friends on FB, most of them I have met in person at a club or convention.

I have about 1500+ friends on Myspace, a lot I have met in person, but most are for the apps I play there. I would like to actually meet a lot of those app people as I chat with them during game play.

According to LJ I have 462 mutual friends. I know most of them IRL and would Love to meet the rest!...
You make your own rules. If you get a new person asking for an add, and you don't know them, but they have a handfull of mutual friends, message them and simply ask "hey, who are you? How do you know me?" and let them tell their motivation for the add request. Might be that they're serial adders with the flimsiest of excuses, or a genuine stranger who really wants to get to know you or include you in on events that your mutual friends share. Best part? You don't have to add them, or if you're curious, add them and peek in and if you don't like it, you can drop them. (interestingly enough, Facebook by default doesn't let you see who drops you like LJ does. You have to keep tight notes or guess...) If you get a friend suggestion, that's different. At least then, one or more friends know someone they think you might like adding. I've had a few strangers out of the blue and either asked the 'mutual friends' who they were, or simply didn't add them because their non-info or photo or whatever said plenty even if it was nothing. I play facebook for the people game, not the numbers game. I'd rather talk to people I know, or add/accept people I'd like to know.

If anything, let them see one public statement that says something like "If I don't know you, I won't add you without a hello note introducing yourself and why you want to be added or how you know me. If your note doesn't measure up, you won't be added." And that way the strangers will at least realize they must prepare a hello vs. a blind add request.



I don't add people unless I personally know them and/or have "met" them and "know" them here on LJ. I think adding random people ultimately ends up with trouble unless you keep your FB page very generic.